When The Boyfriend Doesn’t Like a Friend

I had this issue when I told him my friend had depression, and was perhaps doing things she shouldn’t be doing…I’ll leave it up to you guys to imagine what those things could be.

He, understandably, was concerned that she may drag me down.  She would be a bad influence and so on.  I’m not a very strong person mentally, but I wanted to stick by her because she was my friend. I wanted to help.

However…she got worse.  These ‘things’ she was doing weren’t helping her depression, and she was being self-destructive. I concluded that I’ll be there for her, and the door is open for her…but it’s her choice whether or not she walks through that door.  I’m not going to jump when she says jump…it’s not fair on me.

This issue with my friend…I’m dealing with.  Not my boyfriend.  People have to remember that it is always your choice with how you deal with your friends, not your boyfriends choice, and so for now…I’m taking a break to get my head together before talking to said friend.

My boyfriend also didn’t like my college friends.  Two of them partied hard, one cheated a lot on her boyfriend, they wanted me to drink despite me not wanting to, and they introduced me to guys who were complete utter shitbags-and they didn’t even seem to see they were shitbags.  Excuse me?  Lying about being a porn star, getting a girl pregnant and then the girl got an abortion?  Would you really lie about that shit?  Plus, this guy asked for naughty pics of me, and my friends still told me he was lovely….WRONG!  I’m in a relationship man, piss off!  My boyfriend got worried because he’s not close by due to the LDR, and so it’s up to me to avoid the dickheads my so called friends would introduce me to.  I agreed to go for a meal with them if the dickhead wasn’t there…only to find out as soon as I got into the car that he was meeting us there.

What friends *rolls eyes*.  It was even worse when I was forced to get a lift with him.

This wasn’t the only reason he didn’t like them.  They made me feel inferior and as if I was only there so they didn’t feel lonely at dinner.  They rarely let me speak my mind freely, because yes I am perverted, but that isn’t really an issue…I shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it.

In a lot of ways my boyfriend is right about these friends, and that they are bad for me.  I get it.  I tried to leave them and spend more time with people I liked spending time with…but then the other friends started guilt tripping me.  I’m hoping to fade away from them a little, but one of them I want to keep in touch with because she could be a good friend…she just knew a lot of dicks…

So when your boyfriend doesn’t like a friend…listen to why.  Communicate and talk through why he has an issue, but never let him decide who you can and can’t be friends with.  My boyfriend helped me realise my so called friends were just making me feel bad constantly, and that I shouldn’t allow that to happen, which is true, but I decided to try different options with them in case things got better.  I wish I didn’t.

You should always surround yourself with people who make you happy.  However, you should also be there for the friends who need you.  It’s a tricky balance.

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2 thoughts on “When The Boyfriend Doesn’t Like a Friend

  1. yea very true we need to balance every thing in our lives….they are so many people around us who pull us back when we are trying to step ahead….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s a sad thing when you realise people are pulling you back. Sometimes stepping back and re-evaluating who you hang out with can make a huge difference, and allows you to move forward. People are often too afraid to hurt others, even if it means they themselves have to be miserable. We shouldn’t pause in life for other people: we should go on an adventure with true friends. Plus…I’m glad you agree! XD

    Like

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