The Importance Of Foreplay

To all the guys out there that skip it, or roll their eyes or even think it’s a chore…GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER.  Foreplay is important, and the bottom line is, it feels amazing, and can make sex even more amazing.

You need foreplay to get her in the mood, wet enough for penetration, and feeling loved and aroused.  If you just climb on top of her, have sex and then wonder off without so much as a cuddle afterwards, she may feel used and unsatisfied. Try having sex and not having an orgasm, and then think about how you feel.  Are you unsatisfied?  Wanting more?

Yes?

Then maybe that’s how a woman feels when she is not receiving some proper loving.  Most women cannot orgasm from penetrative sex alone, and this is perfectly normal.  Most women, if not all women, love stimulation prior to sex.  We love caressing, kissing, fondling, fingering and oral sex. Our orgasms are important too.

You see, sex is for you as a couple.  It should never be one-sided or else someone may end up feeling resentful.  So, before you drop you trousers and make your desires heard, think about what she may like, what she does like.  Maybe it’s true that she loves something you do during sex, but…it could be a heightened experience made more enjoyable if you take the time to fully arouse her.

Also, another point is that sometimes, if she is not well lubricated enough, it is uncomfortable, and sometimes she may be wary during sex that something down there is going to *coughs* rip.  Also, it is dangerous if she is not wet enough, because if there is too much friction the condom may come off, and if you do not want to get pregnant…a nightmare may unfurl.  If you men are reading this and shaking your heads at this, thinking it all nonsense and that foreplay is a waste of time…shame on you.   If you care about your girlfriend, wife etc, then you should care about her pleasure.  Take the time to make her feel appreciated, or you may just find yourself not having sex for a long time, or that she becomes unresponsive and unwilling. She may even think about not giving you the pleasure she usually gives you, because she feels like she is getting nothing back.

So to avoid all this, and to enjoy sex completely…foreplay goes a long way.  Ask each other what feels good, and what you would both like to try. Communication is key.  Spontaneous sex is good too, but foreplay is a must!  If you are a woman reading this and want your man to understand why you need a little bit of warming up before sex, educate him.  Or if you are a man needing foreplay, tell your spouse why you need it! Whether it’s emotional needs or physical, if you need something to feel good don’t be afraid to make it known, because sex is meant be enjoyable for both of you, not just the man, or just the woman.

Happy foreplay folks!

Ulalume Poe

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Tied up and blindfolded: Is it worth the hype?

Before the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘ fascination with bondage, I was already intrigued by the topic of being tied down and blindfolded during sex, but since I was a shy and awkward individual, I never really spoke up about my desires with anyone since it was…a ‘dirty’ fetish of mine.  Plus, why was I so intrigued by this?  Was it the fact that I was being dominated?  Having my man ravish me in a moment of intimacy that made my senses alert and awake to every touch?  Or was it because I was just curious about it, wanted to try it out and just put a tick next to it on my ‘To Do List’?

In magazines it was everywhere…how to spice up life in the bedroom?  There most certainly would be bondage in there, but why?

After having my boyfriend tie me up and blindfold me…I can most definitely say it’s worth it.  Just watching him as he tied me up sparked arousal inside me, and it opened up a certain vulnerability that made me crave more.  My breasts felt exposed, free for him to fondle lovingly, and once blindfolded I was completely aware of his every touch.  For me, I normally don’t like it when I close my eyes for people because I hate surprises, but this was something entirely different.  Due to me trusting my boyfriend entirely, I felt very comfortable and safe just laying there, unable to see him or move my arms.

The first thing I realised, was that this allowed him to discover new parts of me that made me feel good.  As he kissed down my body I noticed that I was sensitive in certain areas that I didn’t expect, and I certainly wouldn’t have known otherwise because normally I might have stopped him, especially since it was my stomach and I didn’t see it as a kissable part of me.  Nor did I even think it would feel remotely satisfying to be kissed there.

I have to point out, also, that I forgot entirely about my body hangups during this intimate foreplay, as I was focussed on him and only him.  Admittedly it was a relief to forget all about my uncomfortable views upon him seeing my pudgy tummy or wibbly wobbly thighs and stretch marks, and it was nice to just settle back and enjoy myself. Nice to just feel good, which was easy to do because he made sure to make me feel good.

Teasing, however is something that works very well with being blindfolded I found.  You have to remember that he’s probably enjoying himself to high heaven watching you moan and gasp at his touch, and so he might be devilish in his enjoyment and really take his time.  It’s so intimate to feel where his kisses and caresses lead, and because you may tense or your breathing may increase, he’ll know exactly what he’s doing to you.  One thing that really got me was that I couldn’t kiss him during this, which I love during foreplay and sex because it’s so intimate and gives a chance for eye contact in between.  Yet he knew this…and so gave me a surprise kiss when I least expected it, which left me wanting more…the bugger!

I also want to announce how good oral is during this.  Having him go down on you whilst you’re tied up is just HOT.  There’s no other way to explain the sexual frustration of having your pleasure build up while he’s down there teasing the hell out of your clitoris. Since all the attention is focussed on pleasuring you, you will get satisfied.  It’s a guarantee.  Even if you don’t reach orgasm, it is still intense and satisfying, because you are getting that much needed clitoral stimulation that is sometimes missed perhaps.

After all this teasing and built up pleasure, it was hot to finally have the blindfold removed and to see my man, horny as hell.  Knowing that he enjoyed it too was not only a relief, but a huge fulfillment because it made me feel less selfish about being pleasured. It made me feel that I had also done something for him, despite me just being flat on my back moaning.  It was a moment that might have been most intimate of all then, because we were both more than ready for a much needed make out session and to go straight into passionate sex. That’s it; the humongous amount of passion afterwards was almost magical, because it felt like we were almost starved for each other.  Needing each other completely, and to urgently touch each other and enjoy ourselves.

What I find most important though, is not only did it feel absolutely satisfying, but I also felt closer to my man afterwards, and more comfortable with the idea of being tied up and blindfolded again.  I felt more confident perhaps too, and more willing to ask things of him during sex, because after all…my pleasure is important too, and if I enjoyed it…we are definitely doing it again!

So that is why being tied up and blindfolded is worth it, so the next time you find yourself musing over it, I gently urge you to consider trying it out.