When An Apology Is Not Enough

Ulalume Advice, Apologies, Arguments, Couples, Debate, , , ,

I wrote a post yesterday about the frustration when my boyfriend does not apologise, and how it makes me feel, and despite believing I’d never get an apology…I got one before the end of the day.

However, it didn’t solve anything for me.  Feelings of hurt didn’t magically disappear, nor did the frustration.  Yet, if I say ‘your apology means nothing’, he may be put off from apologising (if needed) again, so where does that leave me?

With the conclusion that he has to make it up to me.

I’m not an expensive girl, and I’m easily made happy by the simplest of things. Give me your hoodie that has your scent all over it?  I’m beaming from ear to ear.  Buy me a KFC, or a doughnut?  Let me kiss the daylights out of you.  I’m very, easily, satisfied like that.

But what do I want?  I’m not materialistic, I’m sentimental, and I prefer actions and genuine words to show me real feeling, so…it’s up to him.  It would be wrong to demand something in particular, or to guilt trip him into something, and that is just not me.  So it’s all down to him, and I have a feeling he knows he has to do something, and I’d feel bad if he’s dreading it.

It just has to be enough to make up for what he did, and maybe it will take time, but either way…something has to happen.

5 thoughts on “When An Apology Is Not Enough”

  1. Hi, there! As a Marriage & Family Therapist I loved your post about apology. You’ve got great insight — how’d you come to know so much? I hope you’re going into a field related to Psychology since you’ve nailed the whole concept (and reality) of how to apologize and make it matter. I think you’ll find that Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages might help both you and The Boyfriend with making apology a way to make your relationship better.,.

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    • I have no experience in psychology, but I do have a hobby of researching different things related to relationships. I have a need to understand things. I think I’ve found Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages before, but I think it’s worth another read 🙂 Thank you for your lovely comment

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  2. Reblogged this on ilikebeingsickanddisabled and commented:
    Make your relationship better! The writer of this post is 18 years old and already gets it. But does The Boyfriend? This is what I find doing therapy with couples — neither gets what the other is saying. Frustrating? You bet! Start making apology stick; Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages will help a lot.

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